I Wish I knew Then What I know Now

Many doctors, healers and those in the holistic wellness space are convinced that our trapped emotions, traumas, anxieties, and life experiences that we hold onto in our nervous system are the source of everything that ales us.

I look at this in a broad overview, but I am also interested in looking at this specifically in the view of those who take their own lives and those who have been left behind severely traumatised.

We live in highly toxic times with someone taking their life every 40 seconds, and many of us are left scratching our heads wondering, why?

When I look to my own experience of losing my brother, my healing, and many of those I have worked with, I also wholeheartedly agree that the trapped energy that lives within us is a driving force for our behaviours, decisions, and reality as a whole.

So much so that I know in my bones had I known what I know now with healing, my brother would still grace this earth.

From a young age, we have been conditioned to express our positive and happy emotions through joy, laughter, and happiness but not to express the “negative” or painful feelings; thus, they get trapped within the body and later, we can become sick with those emotions by them affecting us on all planes of mental, emotional and spiritual health.

Suppose we do not give energy to working through our traumas and give these emotions (energy in motion) the capacity to move and release. In that case, they will later find a way to manifest into something like sickness or dis-ease due to the stagnant energy that has been left unprocessed.

As our emotions build-up, we tend to push them away as we’ve been taught to resist the things that don’t feel good instead of working with them; at this point, we may begin to look outside of ourselves for answers.

Unfortunately, this is all too common; we in the west commonly search for the answers in variable places that either further numb, suppress or avoid as opposed to unlocking the door and finding the solutions within. We have a long way to go in our culture in seeing this shift. But it is shifting… through this mass awakening; it is shifting!

We become like pressure cookers with all of this energy stirring within our subconscious mind that influences our thoughts beliefs, controlling our thoughts, ideas, and behaviours. This kind of energy is enough to exhaust even the fittest and healthiest of people as our sub mind is so powerful we cannot hide from it.

I have my views through my own personal and professional scope as to why my brother took his life and why I almost took mine, so please take what feels true to you and leave the rest as each of our experiences are unique; we are each at various levels of awareness and consciousness, but a core foundation of why an individual would take their life in my view is from trapped emotions, energy, dysregulation from a unique blend of personal experiences in their life that surmounted to the point of crisis. There is likely an overload on their nervous system, and with no tools or know-how to self-regulate and release the energy, there may be a driving compulsion to leave their physical life behind.

So, when we look at our trapped emotions/energy, it's first essential to understand where they are, how we access them and how we begin to release, heal and integrate this energy- like alchemy. The energy inside of us cannot simply disappear; it transcends into another form of energy- and when we do this healing work, it will always transcend into a far higher vibration.

We have our two minds, our conscious and subconscious mind. Suppose we look at our mind as an iceberg. The tip is that what is above the surface is our conscious mind; this is our action mind, the mind of choice and what’s below is our subconscious mind; it’s like a submarine; we don’t know it’s there unless it surfaces.

We are influenced 95% by our subconscious mind. Until we get to know what is below the surface, we will be operating in life unconscious and ruled by our programming, limiting beliefs, conditioning and trapped, unprocessed energy and trauma.

The subconscious mind is 1000 times more powerful than our conscious mind and defines everything about us. It is a holographic archiving computer that remembers every moment of our existence, every split second; it knows what’s wrong with us, where our trapped emotions are stored within our body, who was involved, where we were at the time, what needs to be done to heal in precise and perfect detail.

It’s a force that can make us highly sick or one that can make us vibrantly healthy and abundant… getting to know our subconscious narratives is an inside job- and that is why healing is so important, so we can access its content and understand ourselves inside out. Simply put, it is how we transform.

How are our thoughts and feelings, both conscious and unconscious, contributing to the challenges we have in our physical bodies?

When we have experiences in our lives that overwhelmed us emotionally and brought us much pain, we have default protective mechanisms that come and help us survive these experiences. The energy takes shape in our body and suppresses deep within until we come to a stage in life where we are ready to begin unwinding this energy, whether grief, despair, anger, rage, longing, sadness, etc.

You’ll know physically of this suppression through muscular tension, your breathing, energy levels, aches and pains in your body, immune system function, and where you feel this is evidence of placement in your body where you hold on to emotions, memories or sensations from the past.

An accumulation of chronic stress, suppressed emotions and pain create tension, which builds layer upon layer and, over time, affects our organs and joints. Everything within our mind and body are interconnected; when we protect ourselves, our body goes into a protective state that causes the muscles to contract. Our connective tissues strain, thicken and harden, causing later dis-ease that can only exist in chaos. When this chaos exists on a cellular level, we know about it- we feel it as a sign or signal of offence in the body as a symptom. That’s what symptom means, a sign or indication of chaos inside the body.

Trauma can be anything that a person has experienced in their life that was too much, too fast and overwhelmed their nervous system; if we are not working with this energy and sequencing it out from an early age, then the perception of that trauma, as well as the point, will carry through with us into adulthood until we have the choice and awareness to release it or the accumulation of trauma in the body is what can lead someone to the point of crisis.

When we look at the ever-increasing numbers of people taking their lives, it’s so important that we look at the bigger picture- other than ‘depression’ as the umbrella term of someone taking their life. It is almost insulting.

How many emotional and traumatic experiences has one been in, in this toxic world we live in that accumulated over time and gave them a faulty lens of themselves and their world? This goes to all ages- throughout school, bullying, home life, the institutions we are a part of, the healthcare systems, social media, media, religion and so on- there are many places we can be affected throughout life.

AMA found that 80% of all health issues are stress-related; it is a fact that the chemicals of stress dysregulate and down-regulate the genes that create dis-ease. This very much includes the diagnosis of depression and anxiety that is so commonly passed around these days.

Our body is our unconscious mind, our feeling mind. It doesn’t know the difference between an experience in life that creates an emotional response or by emotions that we fabricate by thought alone, meaning if we can turn on the stress response by thought alone and those chemicals make us sick, then by definition, our thoughts and ideas alone can make us sick.

It has been discovered that 90% of our energy is being used to suppress this energy from our past, draining us, our vitality, aliveness and joy. Suppose we learn how to access this energy by acquiring the tools and using our inner recourses. We can release this on a cellular level and gain back the previously used energy for suppression, leaving us feeling vital, revived and regaining our zest for life!

It is how we came here to be!

But there is no money in that, and it is not how society has been engineered. We have been conditioned to disconnect from ourselves and look externally for the help we need.

From a young age, we have been told to be quiet, shut up, sit down, behave, big boys don’t cry, not to feel emotions because, well, they are too much for most to handle. And now we have got to the point of suppressing emotions that have manifested as self-sabotage, limiting beliefs, disempowering thoughts, powerlessness, mind control, dis-ease, diagnosis, and, well, we become disconnected from our most authentic selves and the power we have to make us both sick and healthy.

So, when our intense experiences and emotions get shut down repeatedly, this energy gets stuck within the body, we disconnect, and dis-ease is later manifesting. We may then go off to the doctor.

Stuck in a loop.

Western medicine cuts things out, pathologises, diagnoses a mental or physical health issue, medicates, and calls it a day. But whatever was creating the dis-ease in the first place (depression, anxiety, exhaustion and so on) is still living within the cells and influencing us in real-time, even underneath the medication.

To truly heal is to get to the root cause, to the root of what is the negative source of painful emotions and experiences that affect our emotional, mental and physical health. The most healing and beneficial way is to detox and clear it from the root- not to mask and hope at best that it will magically side effects. If we are using this medication mindfully to act as the bridge as we integrate into a life with more energy, more sleep, more motivation, it is wise to use it. Still, today we see if being handed out like candy!

Psychotropic medications move whatever chemicals and energy you have inside of you around; if we haven’t participated in our inner healing work and made lifestyle changes in the interim, then we can be sure that this energy will still be there living in the body, cells, bones, organs and so on when we come off of them.

This, in my eyes, is all carefully designed and engineered, profit over people. Take their power away, never to experience self-awareness, their interdimensional selves and realise the power of their minds- if the pharma companies could charge you money to self-heal with your inner recourses and natures creative intelligence- they would. But, in the meantime, whilst we have become so disconnected, programmed and conditioned within the scope of education, healthcare, media, subliminal messaging, entertainment, social media, carrying ancestral trauma in body memory, for most of us, it has become the quickest and most convenient path. It has become “normal” to have anxiety, depression and be medicated while experiencing cultural fatigue from suicide loss, as it has become far too apparent now.

So, we have to ask- when we look at the bigger picture of how our society has been engineered, if it were so good, progressive and forward-thinking, why are we faced with someone taking their life every 40 seconds?

If the pills were so good, why aren’t they working- oh, that’s right, there were never supposed to work as a side effect is a cause for suicidal ideation and suicide. Isn’t that ironic.

We have to look at the emotions we have stored in our bodies to change ourselves truly. We have no energy to live life until we heal through our unprocessed traumas, wounds, feelings and experiences. Each of us here today will be carrying some form of emotional baggage; even with the most beautiful and soul supportive families, we can be exposed to traumas throughout our lives, especially when you look at the institutions we are involved with for most of our lives.

True transformation happens when breaking free from the charge of emotional addiction, moving out of victimhood to a sense of empowerment by becoming vulnerable, feeling in our inner landscape. When we liberate ourselves by freeing this energy from the past, we automatically use the power of our mind and beliefs to manifest deep healing; we change how we feel by peeling back layers and layers of ourselves until we eventually get to a point where we no longer have trapped emotions in our body causing us to be sick.

Depression and anxiety no longer have a host to stick to, as the root cause no longer triggers the symptom.

When we heal from the root, we become apparent; it is like stepping out of the old skin we were in and into the person we were always intended to be, which is so SO powerful.

What’s more, when we clear this energy from our body, the subconscious mind acts as a lens of perception and as a broadcasting station. When we broadcast these new higher vibrational energy tones, this frequency signals out that attracts people and circumstances in our lives give us a high level/feeling experience.

So, when we do this work, we get more of what we do want and less of what we don’t; life begins to flow, and things start to happen never like before. Our rebounds of manifestations are quicker as the led weight of pain and trauma is no longer holding us back from our dreams and desires. The world is all but energy and an illusion; when we are free from the pain, the world becomes like a toy shop- you can get what more of what you want and less of what you don’t.

Our bodies are waiting for that moment when we allow ourselves to come out of that survival state and to be vulnerable and allow ourselves to open up and feel again. This is the first start to healing our hearts, and when we peel back those layers of emotions, we find our true nature and peaceful, connected self.

But this is an inside job that starts with us, so for things to change in the future, we aren’t being asked to evolve into a trauma-free life, that’s not possible, but we are being asked to do our inner work because it affects the whole individual.

Only your body can heal itself, doctors can set bones, but they can’t heal them, and most have forgotten that.

From the brilliant wisdom of the past, we will liberate and heal in the future.